It’s New Year’s Day and I’m drinking… Bitch.
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) January 1, 2014
#nowplaying with myself… — Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) January 11, 2014
Don’t need no class when you got dis ass…
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) January 15, 2014
Yes… This shit really happened. @adamlevine is a dickhead.. http://t.co/6HZqDGg9dO
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) January 17, 2014
Y’all get it?!! I just tweeted something brilliant!! Holy shit!!! Son of bitch I’m funny!!!! — Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) January 22, 2014
Oh that sounds cool!! Me? Oh I’m just singing with @merlehaggard, @willienelson and @KrisKristofersn tonight on the Grammys.. #holyshit
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) January 26, 2014
Just heard @mirandalambert new song “Automatic”… And I felt a change in the atmosphere of country music. #newclassic — Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) February 5, 2014
I just drank a full 8 oz glass of water… That shit is gross!!!!!!!
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) February 6, 2014
I’m so famous I just unfollowed myself because I don’t care what celebrities have to say…. Bitch.
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) March 7, 2014
Just like Hank said… All my rowdy friends have settled down. Idiots… — Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) March 8, 2014
I’m so famous my truck doors lock themselves just to keep my precious ass safe. Bitch…
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) March 13, 2014
Just watched my first porn movie ever!!! Damn I looked young… — Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) March 28, 2014
I’m so famous my porch light comes on as I approach it just because it knows I love the spotlight.. Bitch…
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) April 2, 2014
I think @LukeBryanOnline and I are either ready or high…. pic.twitter.com/D9MriosRGE — Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) April 6, 2014
Damn it!! I just KNEW it wasn’t going to freeze again in Oklahoma. Now I have to cover my pot… ted.. tomatoes..
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) April 14, 2014
Me and @mirandalambert are reading about our separation… Shit!! I hope I get all the liquor in the divorce!!! — Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) April 16, 2014
Oh and I almost forgot.. @adamlevine is a complete vag…
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) April 21, 2014
“@ramsey_kristina: Why are you replying to everything with ‘Jellys’ ?” Are you jelly? — Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) April 28, 2014
“@valentimbits: @blakeshelton what are your thoughts on adams new haircut blake” Anything to distract from his face is better..
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) April 28, 2014
.@adamlevine… I just found the craziest thing in my phone!!! Your PERSONAL cell phone number… hope I’m not stupid enough to tweet it out…
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) April 28, 2014
I’ve been called “Pop-country”, “outlaw country”(ol’ red I guess), “Traditional” (mostly), “Story-Teller”, “Hick-hop” and NOW “Bro-country”!
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) May 12, 2014
When will people understand that country music constantly changes.. Always has and always will. It’s song about real people.. People change.
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) May 12, 2014
.@pizzahut named a pizza after me! Blake’s Smokehouse BBQ….can y’all believe it?! Eat your heart out @adamlevine! Literally, eat it. #pizza
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) May 13, 2014
Hey @mirandalambert…. Happy anniversary. I love you so much it’s actually stupid..
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) May 14, 2014
Nervous as a dog shittin’ peach seeds!!!
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) May 21, 2014
I’m a bad role model… I’m ok with that. Bitch..
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) May 28, 2014
“@nessarosea: @blakeshelton how do you deal with Adam” I make drinks out of alcohol and then drink them…
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) June 14, 2014
A little behind the scenes insight… pic.twitter.com/WbPsrhiOa8
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) May 21, 2014
I can PROMISE y’all that these 2 are hung the FOCK over…. #insideinformation pic.twitter.com/UTHxEKA86r
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) May 18, 2014
Damn it, I’m hungry!!!! If only there were something like a @pizzahut pizza named after me… http://t.co/Du0VKqgELL
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) May 14, 2014
Holy shit balls of America!!!!!! @AudraLynn21 everybody!!!!!!!!!! Unreal!!!! Unre
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) April 29, 2014
HEY EVERYONE!!! Here it is: (310) 493-7939 <– @adamlevine‘s CELL NUMBER! Think I’m kidding? Try calling it!! Bitch!!!
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) April 29, 2014
Crystal Pepsi… That was a badass drink..
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) April 28, 2014
Jellys… Those were badass shoes..
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) April 28, 2014
Doing vocals today on my last album..
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) April 24, 2014
I’m so famous that I had to walk to school 2 miles bare foot in the snow BUT it was only uphill one way.. Bitch..
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) March 20, 2014
“@MrsBShelton_x: HAPPY BIRTHDAY @blakeshelton I jazzed up my tattoo!! pic.twitter.com/UrZbbxD0LH” That’s my girl!
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) June 18, 2014
Still can’t believe in turning 28 tomorrow… Oh well.
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) June 17, 2014
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